When someone on my friend's list posts their before and after photos from their weight loss journey, by instinct I want to like their photo and congratulate them on their accomplishments. However, I always hesitate to say things like "you look great!" or "wow you're so beautiful" because I want those people to know that I'm happy that they achieved their goal--not necessarily that they're skinnier. We live in a society that doesn't hold space for fat bodies unless it is focused on body shaming, humor, or weight loss. There was outrage when Gaby Sidibe was depicted having a physical relationship with her attractive, non-fat, successful boyfriend on the hit show Empire as if fat girls in real life aren't in these types of relationships (they absolutely are). To this day I still here insensitive, triggering "Precious" jokes concerning the breakout role Gaby Sidibe played in the 2009 movie by the same name. The Precious character was worthy of our jokes because she was very large, unattractive by our whitewashed beauty standards, and had no social capital. Like really y'all, it's okay for us to make fun of a character who was severely abused and raped by her family? Something that happens to people in real life, people who you probably know but probably haven't spoken up about it? But I digress.
If you do have a goal to lose weight then that is totally fine;I am not knocking those people who do choose to make weight loss their goal or who choose to share their journey publicly. That is each persons decision to make. Quite honestly, before and after weight loss pictures are appealing because of their shock value and the instant gratification they produce for onlookers. Plus, who doesn't want the love and support of friends, family, and acquaintances after achieving a major life goal? I just want to shed light on another perspective concerning weight loss that will hopefully open your minds and hearts to the humanity that people who are still fat or who maybe did not lose weight traditionally DESERVE. With that being said, I want all of my friends, family, followers, and acquaintances to know that my weight loss journey will never be public for the following reasons:
1. My body is more than just an inspiration to others
Often times fat folks do not receive positive attention concerning their bodies unless it is concerning weight loss. It's important for the owners of these fat bodies as well as those around them to understand that regardless of where you are on your journey to weight loss and/or greater health, fat bodies are still deserving of love, respect, and humanity. The only time I receive or see positive attention concerning my body is when it's from myself or from other body positive activists. I am constantly bombarded by negative messages about my body from the media, family, men, and acquaintances and quite frankly it is exhausting to combat. It is quite exhausting to be reduced to a number on a scale, pants size, or stereotype. Doing this robs fat people of their humanity. We are people too and we deserve to be treated like people. Regardless of one's weight, you deserve to live NOW, be happy NOW, and love yourself NOW.
2. My health cannot be reduced to my weight
Health needs to be addressed holistically and weight is only one aspect of it. If you say you're concerned about someone, but the only the only thing you talk about is their weight or body size, then you're not actually concerned about their health. More than likely you have inherited the all too common social stigma against fat bodies that our society holds and you just find that person's body unappealing. My mental/emotional/spiritual health are all just as important as my physical health. Let's not also forget that you can be just as or less unhealthy as a thin person because there is no such thing as a fat person's disease (fat people and thin people are susceptible to the same illnesses and ailments).
3. Weight loss is not the only measure of success in one's health journey
More important than my weight loss is how I lost it. Even if I don't share the pounds I lost or my before and after pictures with you, maybe I will share how I have learned to incorporate more leafy green vegetables into my daily diet. Or maybe I will share with you how a couple of months ago I could only run a half mile and now I can run two. Or maybe I would even share how now I can sleep better at night because of the healthy lifestyle changes I have made. All of these things, in my opinion, are more important than weight loss and inherently will lead to weight loss anyway.
4. My health journey is private
Because of negative stigmas that society places on fat folks, I honestly just prefer to keep my health journey private. Of course I share information with people whom I trust, but generally speaking my successes and failures are just that--mine. They are not for the public gaze unless I share them for that purpose. There are some of us that seek alternative methods to losing weight, such as weight loss surgery, which many people are still judged for doing. Regardless of your personal opinions on weight loss surgery, I believe that any person who decides to go that route did what they thought was best for them and they are just as deserving of humanity as the person who lost weight at the gym or through a special diet. Our bodies, big or small, are not here for jokes, pokes, or inspiration. We are all human beings and we want to live a fulfilling life that is filled with love, respect, and humanity. My weight and body do not disqualify me from deserving those things and neither does yours.
True Love
